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Many years ago, when I was working in London running a small private restaurant for Christians in the Arts, I remember going for a walk one Sunday afternoon, I was actually walking under Waterloo Bridge, when I found myself asking God a question, "what's the purpose of my life? what am I doing here.?' I don't know what conclusions I came to that day or whether I heard God's answer to my question but several decades later, as I look back on my life, I can see how God providently guided me, opened doors of employment or closed them, protected me, shielded me from grief and trauma, allowed me to make mistakes, and finally, has brought me to a place where I can honestly say that ' I'm living in the most exciting times in my life.'
Getting to know God has transformed my life, how I live, what I do , and what I believe, and my heart's desire is to fulfil His purpose for my life before He chooses to take me home.
Psalm 139 is one of my favourite Psalms - verses 13 to 16 describes how special we are to God.
v13: 'For Thou didst form my inward parts;
' Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb
v14: I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works and my
soul knows it very well.
v15: My frame was not hidden from Thee , when I was
made in secret and skilfully wrought in the depths of
of the earth
v16: Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in
Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.'
God planned our lives before we were even born - How amazing is that!!
As we are Body, Soul and Spirit our natural life is intricately woven with our spiritual life. I was fortunate that my
parents, both Polish, were Roman Catholics so the seed of faith in God was sown at an early age. My choices in life
reflected, in part, my faith in God.
Going to church on a Sunday was a must - even when I worked for a sailing club in Devon where I lived afloat - I
insisted on going to church on Sunday mornings. My employers very kindly arranged for a launch to take me
ashore then bring me back after the service. However, there did come a time as I grew older and moved to
London, that I rebelled against the monotony of tradition. One Sunday at church something snapped in my spirit
- it was as if there was a craving within me that was not being met, I wanted more from my faith. I decided to
leave the Roman Catholic Church and started attending All Souls, Langham Place, just off Oxford Circus. I
became like a sponge soaking in the teaching and, for the first time, really exploring the Bible. During this time I
was also involved with the Arts Centre Group, an organisation for Christians in the Arts. I loved the way the Bible
was explored and meditated on by my fellow Christians involved in the various media genres. The Bible became
alive to me and I realised that Christianity was not a religion but a relationship with Jesus.
When I look back on those years I realise how special they were. I was able to ask God, without fear or trepidation,
'what was my purpose in life?' 'what was I here for.?' I discovered that my life without God would have no
And so my life's journey continued, new events, new jobs, new people in my life, new environments, new battles,
new victories - and in all these God was faithful. There were times when I found things difficult at work and as
conflict was not on my agenda, I would go to my Father in heaven and ask Him 'to fight this battle for me as I
didn't know how.' He always did - after all I was 'the apple of His eye!! (as we all are). God changed
circumstances, removed people, opened new doors. So when things are difficult for you and the battle appears
hard to win - cry out to Him - God will provide a doorway of hope for you to push open!
We all go, or will go, through pain when the tragedy of losing someone special happens. I lost my father in my
student days. We became a family of four. Myself, my two sisters and mum. We always remained close even
though our pathways went in different directions. My older sister married and moved to Norfolk and my younger
sister married and emigrated to Australia. My journey took me to Holland, London, Buckinghamshire and the West
I was privileged to live with mum for the last 15 years of her life. She was an extraordinary lady whose destiny it was
to survive being parted, as a young bride of three months, from her husband, and being transported to Russia at
the beginning of World War Two. She was sent to a labour camp in Georgia and with a group of other women,
survived the rigours of the camp, contracted scurvy and almost died from malaria and malnutrition. Despite the
hardships, her faith in God sustained her. In an amazing turn of events my father who spoke fluent Russian,
happened to be in another camp nearby, and through someone who knew him and mum, informed him of her
whereabouts. They were re- united. With talk of amnesty they left the camp and took a train for Moscow to join up
with General Anders and the Polish troops. Their adventurous journey to Moscow almost had them separated again
when my father got off the train to buy some peaches for mum. While he was still on the platform the train moved off
leaving him behind. Mum got off at the next station - Tiblisi - to wait for him. She was pestered by the guards and
thrown out of the station, and ended up huddled in some corner outside the station waiting for my father to arrive. He
was eager to get to her as soon as possible and so hitched a ride on a freight train carrying coal. It was evening
when he arrived, looked everywhere for mum but could not find her, so he went to a nearby hotel to get cleaned up
because, as he wrote in his diary 'he looked as black as the devil.'. The following morning he was re-united with her
, took her back to the hotel where she could get a hot bath and some rest. Later that day they boarded the train to
Baku. Their journey took them to Rostov, Moscow, the Middle East, Teheran (Iran), Southern Rhodesia (now
Zimbawe) and finally to England.
Life in England was not easy to start with especially with three young children, food rationing and a new language to
learn - mum never complained, she just got on with life. Even at the age of 85 she never made demands, her only
wish was that she could die at home - as her precious life ebbed away, due to ill health, the Lord's favour made it
possible for all of us to be around her bedside, at home, holding her hand until she slipped away into His everlasting
God's favour continued on my life and my last year of my working life was amazing. I was in a work environment
that I enjoyed and was surrounded by fantastic work colleagues/friends. Although it was the NHS (The National
Health Service) my faith sustained me and I didn't hide it.
God's faithfulness and grace continues to abound and I am now living with my sister in Norfolk, go to a fantastic
church and love my new church family.
God has been given a bad name by Satan, He is blamed for every disaster and catastrophe and is continually
accused of being 'the bad guy.'
My heart's desire is to share the goodness of God with people whose faith is weak or non existent.
I urge you not to bury your head in the sand! Before you reject God why don't you try and get to know Him!
That's what I did in London many years ago - I decided to get to know the God I was supposed to believe in. I'm still on my journey of discovery. He has never failed me or forsaken me. God has no favourites - so cry out to Him today
and see what happens!!!!!